some blogging thoughts

Just a few things on my mind this morning....

At this moment, I've received 2,999 visits on this blog since starting it back in July. Not a totally impressive number in comparison to many, but definitely more than I would have imagined. That means about 14-15 people are checking this thing out each day on average. I hope it's been fun for those of you reading. Thank you.

In the last 3 days, I've received over 20 visits to the site as a result of this particular referral. The referral is from some type of "city-data" site for Knoxville, and one of the members on there - an individual from Kingsport - was inquiring about bounce houses. Another member - I do not know who this person is - referred them to this blog, and more specifically to a post I'd done a few months back about bounce houses. This is one of the things I find fascinating about blogging. Somehow, over time, you are connected to people you never knew existed.

And for those of you who may be reading this because you thought you were being linked to a well written and informative "bounce house mania" website, I welcome you and hope you'll enjoy your visit.

And finally....Crossings turned 1 year old yesterday. It was an excellent morning. It featured lots of excitement, cheesecake, great worship, a live broadcast video, living room stories, the kids city group providing music and scripture, a compelling message, and nearly 300 people there to be a part of it. The entire team, in all areas, did an awesome job making so many things happen yesterday, and it made for a truly incredibly anniversary.

jonah ... seriously?

Have you ever read the book of Jonah? Here it is in The Message version. It's 4 chapters in total. I totally recommend it.

It had been a while since I'd read it. We read it last night during the guys small group I'm in. Holy crap! What a weird, trippy, fascinating story. It's very difficult to distinguish whether it's literally true, or more of a parable. And though you may know that Jonah was sent to speak to Ninevah, you may not realize he only spoke ONE SENTENCE to them, and the entire city - 120,000 strong - turned to God.

And you may know that Jonah spent three days inside a whale. But did you know that Jonah very well may not have realized he was in a whale? At least not until he was vomited out. Well, there are too many amazing occurences to point out here. Check it out for yourself.

God's Word never ceases to amaze.

investigating my jesus poll

The last poll I loaded onto this blog - which, at this time, is still listed on the left hand side of the page - asked: "If Jesus were alive and ministering today - as opposed to 2000 years ago - is it possible that we wouldn't even know he was here?"

This is not meant to be a controversial questions, just one that caused me to think about our culture today. Imagine if Jesus were born 31 years ago. That for the last 2000 years, God's people were still anticipating the birth of the Messiah.

Now, let's think about a few things. There are over 6 billion people on the earth today. Billions more than were alive in Jesus' day. Could Jesus just get lost in the shuffle? Church as we know it now would not be what it is had Jesus not been born 2000 years ago. What would it be? We don't know.

Assuming Jesus were still born in Bethlehem, even if He performed miracles and did all the same things we know He did, would we recognize Him for who He is? Or would He just be dismissed as another religious figure, a "so called miracle worker", a "television evangelist", or a person who heals people who "obviously aren't really sick or in need of healing." Would we see Him as a fanatical middle eastern Benny Hinn, Joel Osteen, or Jimmy Swaggart? Would we, as a people, be so sick of waiting for the Messiah that we just didn't believe He would come....or would we be so excited for Him to finally come that anyone who did anything deemed as "miraculous" suddenly received our praise as "the one".

I don't know. It's totally hypothetical, really, but really tweaked my interest once I thought about it.

What do you think?

guitar separation blues

My guitar is pictured to the right. I bought it in the fall of 1999. It's a limited edition, Takamine Santa Fe model. Each year, Takamine makes a Santa Fe style that is exclusive to that year. Mine is a 1999 exclusive. If I remember right, it cost me about $1100.00. I got about $400.00 out of a Yamaha (my first guitar) that I sold to a friend of a friend, so my net expenditure was really only $700.00. Still. A lot of money.

This guitar is sweet. The design is beautiful, it's got a fully digital pick-up with a built in tuner, reverb, and pre-settable EQ levels. And it sounds awesome. All Takamine's do.

The problem is, over the last 5 years, I've BARELY touched my guitar. Seriously. I think I've played it about 4 times in 5 years. I used to play all the time when I was involved in the worship ministries at previous churches. That basically ended in 2002. And I've never enjoyed playing just for the sake of playing. The whole reason I taught myself to play back in the mid-90's was to play for youth groups, church camp, and in worship services within the church. Once that opportunity ended, so did my motivation to play music.

I toyed with selling it. This picture, taken back in May 2007, was one of several I took to put a flyer together to try and sell the guitar, case, cords, stand, and pedals as a package deal. I didn't really try that hard to advertise it, and it did not sell.

So now I'm struggling with whether or not to pick it back up again. I'll be extremely rusty. Any callouses my fingers ever developed are long gone. I wonder if I'll even have the time to devote to practicing again. Yet, somewhere deep down, I know I want to. I want to play all the great worship songs that have impacted me over the last few years. I want to play during my quiet times, even singing spontaneous songs of worship to God. I want to spike my hair, put on some cool glasses, and play while standing on my bed, imagining that I'm David Crowder, leading worship under disco strobe lights with some funky record scratching going on in the background. I'd like to think that if I devote myself again, that in a couple of years I could play better than I ever had before. We shall see. I just don't know. But I'll make sure and update you if I do.

bad mamma jamma punk a** pimpin for real

and these are phrases that I would like to use more often in every day life...except that I'm either too white, too dorky, too conversative, too thoughtful, too scared, or too lazy to do so...

• "dude, you's a bad mamma jamma!"
• "i kill the fool dat took my mountain dew"
• "come on wicha bad self"
• "homey don't play dat"
• "ooooohhhhh, yeaaahhh" (think Macho Man Randy Savage)
• "whacha gonna do, when jaybo-mania rains down, on youuu!!!" (think Hulk Hogan)
• "when the dogs are away, the cats will play"
• "you be illin"
• "i said a Big Mac with NO cheese, punk...should I repeat myself again?"
• "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
• "Hamburgers. The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast."
• anything else from Pulp Fiction that you can think of
• "stop looking at my butt"
• "you want some drama? believe me, you don't want no drama."
• "sike!"

things i'd like to see happen before i die...

I'm 31 years old. I'll be 32 in 3 months. I'd like to estimate that I've got about 45-50 years left on this earth, God willing. This is a non-comprehensive list of things I'd like to see become reality before I take my last breath.

I'd like to see...

• automobiles that are affordable and do not run on fuel.
• a unified church that truly begins focusing the bulk of its time and resources outward rather than inward, effectively eliminating hunger and untreated disease throughout the world.
• up close, vivid, detailed pictures of Saturn. Eli absolutely loves Saturn. I think it's his favorite planet.
• at least 3 more completely new and unique "fashion trends" - none of the recycling of old fashion trends and making them new again.
• universal shoe sizing. Why is it that, depending on the shoe brand, I sometimes have to try on a 10M, 10W, 10.5M, 10.5W, or an 11M just to find one that fits right. If my foot is a 10W, then I should buy a 10W, regardless of the brand. But it never works that way. That's ridiculous.
• an overall reduction in average home sizes. How many families of 2-4 across our nation live in 3000 sq ft or larger homes? How much space is really necessary to live comfortably?
• reruns of The Cosby Show still airing when I'm 50 years old. I have a feeling that show will be even funnier to me then. Which would be difficult, consider how funny it still is to me now.
• a revolutionary trend of churches "combining" as opposed to "splitting". How cool would that be?
• cell phones that are nothing but small ear pieces. That's it. It would be completely voice activated, and you would never need to touch it, except to take it off.
• free or truly affordable health care coverage for ALL. I don't care how. But in the 21st century, if a person is sick or injured, they should be able to get treatment without worrying about bankruptcy, a court date, or bill collectors.
• Michael W. Smith release his 28th studio album in 2032, entitled, "1982 - 2032, The First Half Century".
• Steven Curtis Chapman steal MWS's limelight by releasing his 29th studio album a week later, entitled, "The Last Adventure".
• at least one grandchild that I can totally spoil.
• Eli grow up and do whatever the heck God wants him to do with his life...regardless of the location or money. There's nothing more fulfilling than doing the work of Christ.
• an honest, serious, practical review and revision of the US Constitution. It's an incredible document, don't get me wrong. But how long are we going to ignore that the right to bear arms was based on the fact that the country had been through years of war, there was practically no law enforcement, and that enemy soldiers might walk onto your land, kill you and your family, and take your stuff at will. Or that freedom of speech was revolutionary because you could be hung for saying something derogatory about the royal family of England. Not wholesale changes...just making sure that this dynamic document adapts to cover the realities of our changing culture.
• anything without wearing contacts or glasses. I've been of poor sight since the 3rd grade, and it would be nice to be rid of that at some point. But I'm scared of Lasic...and it's expensive.
• my waistline when I'm standing up.

So, what am I missing here?

am i Lost?

I was a huge fan of the tv show Alias. I saw all but a couple of episodes over 5 full season.

JJ Abrams created Alias. He also created Lost. Therefore, I committed to watching Lost from the time it first aired on September 22, 2004.

This show has been amazing, confusing, intricately woven, fragmented, maddening, action packed, romantic, emotional, frustrating......you get my point.

There are times I've watched and thought it was some of the greatest story telling I've ever seen on television. Other times I've watched (remember the polar bear back in season one?) and thought, "what the crap does this stuff mean?" And sometimes that question has never been answered.

Lost returns this week. Is this the last season? Don't know. Do I want it to be the last season, or do I want the story to go on for another 2 years? Don't know. Am I as excited about this abbreviated season as I have been regarding previous seasons? Don't know. I do know that I will continue to faithfully watch. I'm too deeply invested not to.

I'm just crossing my fingers and holding out hope that all the loose ends will tie together, the nagging questions will be answered, The Others will be completely identified and ousted, that no more random "survivors" miraculously show up out of nowhere, that Locke will forever inhabit the island and start a profitable adventure program, that Sawyer will come to know Jesus as his Savior, and that Hurley may actually begin to show signs of weight loss.

Considering he's been living on an island for about 4 months, eating nothing but natural fruits and vegetation and walking a good 5 miles a day, I'd say that's not too much to ask.

what makes mornings worth it

Every weekday morning, around 7:20am, I drop Eli off at his daycare center. Sometimes he grumpily walks in, won't hug me, and just slumps back to his friends, complaining about something that has made him angry.

Other days, we go in, take off his jacket, and he takes off, sprinting to his friends and leaving me standing there. No hug. No goodbye.

Still other days, we'll check his cubby, go see what they have for breakfast, exchange hugs and kisses, and then when I start to leave he'll holler at me and run to give me another hug before I go.

Some days - not nearly as much anymore - he'll cry when I leave and plead for me not to go. Then a teacher will have to hold him while I exit.

This morning, we went inside...took off his coat...switched his shoes back over to the correct feet after he had put them on by himself at home...went over to the breakfast table to pick which cereal he would like to eat...he took off one of his shoes (that we had just fixed) in order to show Ms. Rachel his Incredibles socks...then we hugged.

Then I said, "You have a good day, okay?"
And he replied, "Okay, dad, you have a good work."

And that makes mornings worth it.

the moment of truth

Anybody happen to catch "The Moment of Truth" last night on Fox? It was the premeire episode of the new show where you win money simply by telling the truth. Contestants are given an extensive polygraph test before the shows with over 50 probing questions. 21 of those questions - mostly the juiciest and most embarrassing ones - are asked during the show.

Last night, a guy admitted that he had not yet pursued having a child with his wife of 2 years because he was not sure if she would be his life long partner. He smiled. She didn't.

The show originated in Columbia. And despite high ratings...it was cancelled...because a contestant admitted she had hired someone to kill her husband! Seriously! You can read about it here.

The show almost demands we ask some questions of ourselves.

If you were submitted to a polygraph and could be asked ANYTHING by your significant other, what would they discover about you? If you could do the same to them, would you even want to? Would it even be remotely healthy? Is it better to know EVERYTHING about your mate (their every thought, fantasy, temptation, past sins, etc.) or is it better to know and understand them as a whole person...a flawed person...and to ultimately trust that their love is real and their intentions are good, despite those flaws?

the turn or burn truck

I work in west Knoxville. Once you get off the interstate, you turn right onto Lovell Road, go about 100 yards, then turn right again onto the road on which my place of work is located - Lexington Drive.

For about 2-3 months now, for various periods of 3-4 days at a time, the "Turn or Burn" truck has been parked in a vacant lot on the corner of Lovell and Lexington. This morning, I finally took pictures of it. I wanted to share it with you.

This is what you see when you make the turn onto Lexington:

Then, if you're coming from Lexington back to Lovell, here is what you see:

Let's point out some interesting things. First, do you see the 4 images of the little frowning dude burning in hell? That's sad. Second, who among you has ever though of Jesus as standing in flames, holding what looks to be a bottle of ketchup, with a blacked out face and huge white hands? Also, on the bottom right corner of the truck in the first image, it pretty much insists that I read Matthew - Revelations TODAY. I'm sorry, I love God, I'm a pretty good reader, and am trying to read the Bible more often, but I'm not sure if I can possibly read all of that in one day. I simply just cannot read that much in one sitting. Who took the time and spent the money to make this truck a reality? Do they believe they're doing good? Do they truly believe it will save the lives of those who read it? It's much more likely to cause a traffic accident (it's at a busy intersection with a traffic light) than to save a soul. But is it better than doing nothing at all, which is what I too often do? I just don't know.

if i can remember

If I can remember to bring my camera to work tomorrow, I promise to have a new post. I just stuck a post it note in my pocket as a reminder. There's something I've been wanting to post on here for a few weeks, I just cannot for the life of me remember to bring my camera. I wonder if Jesus was ever forgetful?

wrestling with God and ministry...

Today, I'm going to ask you who read this to pray for me in a specific way.

As of today, it's been approximately 7 years and 7 months since I last served in full time ministry. I've prayed often - and more so recently - asking God if a return to full time ministry might ever be a part of my future. Given the events that necessitated my exit the first time, I'm just not sure if that's going to be possible, at least not for a few more years. Who knows.

When I was 17, I felt a true calling from God to serve in ministry. I founded the first FCA at my high school. I went to a christian college, graduated with a degree in Bible and ministry, and was doing as my work what I thought I was going to do for the rest of my life. But, despite my eventual fallout, the way I thought of ministry and how I viewed "success" were way off base. I felt relatively "successful" in ministry at a young age because I had a lot of connections with ministry people and ministry stuff. By age 20 I was traveling each January to lead seminars at an annual youth workers convention. I won an award my senior year of college as the "top ministry student" in the graduating class. I was comfortable in front of people, leading worship or speaking. I was getting calls from ministers at other churches inviting me to come and speak to their groups or go on their retreats as a special guest.

But, really, those things were all pretty much crap. My heart wasn't in the right place. The way I viewed helping people was wrong. I wasn't connecting with people in my own church. I wasn't building lasting relationships. I wasn't serving the community and helping those in need. I wasn't leading people to Christ by befriending them and showing them His love, but by doing things I thought was cool or fun and hoping those things were somehow reflecting Jesus to others.

Even now, I struggle with those kinds of things. I'm still concerned about numbers, and image, "being relevant" and almost dumbing Jesus down in a way that allows me to live with less discipline and conviction.

And in spite of all that, I really miss the calling of ministry. As time goes by, the work I do each day to make a living seems less and less fulfilling, and I yearn more for the opportunity to serve God again in a full time capacity. I don't know if this will happen. If God opens a path in some way, I don't know if it would be in the local church. Maybe it could be with a charity or other service organization. Maybe I continue the work I'm doing now and pray more for consistent opportunities to serve in the evenings and on weekends, either with my church or with other area ministries.

I'm still praying these things out. Even if God said, "Yes, go for it", I'm not even sure where my area of desire is. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even praying these things in vain. My sin was great and is a difficult thing for most people to forgive. I understand that. I understand that I would be held highly accountable, and that in the human realm, my slate will likely never be wiped clean.

So, as I stated at the beginning, I'm asking you to pray for me. I need to wrestle with God on this and see if there's any answers He might have, one way or another. I'm very thankful for you who read this. Feel free to comment - anonymously even - if you have any thoughts or suggestions. And may God be for the Packers and against the Patriots in the NFL playoffs. Amen.

the brothers solomon

My wife and I have differing tastes in movies. I'm really into movies that are typically at least 2 hours long, have a plot that forces you to watch the movie with no interruptions, and really leave you speechless when they're over - think Braveheart, The Last of the Mohicans, JFK, The Bourne Ultimatum, 3:10 to Yuma, Gladiator, stuff like that. Now, I like other types of dramas, comedies and so forth, but these are my favorite types of things to watch.

Erin is more into cute, funny, shorter, easier to watch movies. She likes comedies and romance movies more than I do. And if the direction of the movie isn't pretty obvious by about the 20 minute mark, she gets frustrated and doesn't really want to get a headache trying to figure it all out. She's more into Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler, and Ben Stiller type of stuff.

So when she came home from Blocksbuster this weekend with "The Brother's Solomon", a ridiculous looking comedy written by and starring Will Forte from SNL sort-of-fame, I rolled my eyes, snickered, and vowed to watch the movie and simply not like it. I mean, Will Forte plays a pretty good "McGruber", does an okay impression of President Bush, and totally sucks as "The Falconer", but the feature role in a movie? Please.

Give me a second. I'm still picking myself up off the floor. I actually laughed during the movie. Quite a bit, actually. And fairly hard. I would have laughed more had I not spent the first 20-30 minutes determined not to like it. It's corny, over-the-top, and definitely an SNL kind of flick, but there are some really awesome one-liner kind of stuff, and it all finally just bowls you over so you can't help but to laugh.

Yes, I'm actually recommending you give "The Solomon Brothers" a try. And I already slapped myself before typing that, so I really do mean it.

2007 in Review

I've been wresting over some "top 10" kind of lists, but I doubt I can put any together. Erin and I simply don't see enough movies to compose a movie list...and most of the ones we see are ones we take Eli to. I'm very limited in my musical tastes, and I rarely buy new music. I don't read nearly enough, and when I do, it's mostly popular fiction.

So, I'm just going to list some stuff from 2007. Some movies. Some music. Some events. Some experiences. Some changes. Some of it may not actually "originate" from 2007, but they were meaningful to me somehow in this year. Without further adieu:

• Sicko, Stardust, Once, Bridge to Terabithia, Superbad, The Bourne Ultimatum, and Ratatouille are very worth seeing. Sicko made me mad. Once and Bridge to Terabitha made me cry. Stardust and Ratatouille made me smile. Superbad made me laugh...and feel guilty for watching it. And The Bourne Ultimatum just got me pumped up!
• Here's who I enjoyed listening to in '07, regardless of the album, song, or dates of release: Caedmon's Call, Kanye West, Rich Mullins, dc talk, Dixie Chicks, Chris Tomlin, David Crowder, Passion Worship, Bob Dylan, Alanis Morrisette, and lots and lots of sports talk radio.
• We began attending Crossings in June. Since July I've had the privilege of being involved with the setup/productions team every week, including producing, setting up lights, running video and sound, and tearing down after the service.
• "Relative" freedom came in July, after 6 years of punishment.
• Erin & I took our first vacation ever as a couple - and the first real vacation for either us in about 6 years - when we went to Charleston for 4 1/2 days in early September.
• This blog began the first week of July. I'm not sure if I would consider it successful or not, because I don't know how to define the success of this blog. It's been fun to write, and I can tell there are at least 12-15 of you out there reading each week, so let's keep truckin.
• I became an uncle in September. My sister and brother-in-law had their first child, Grayson, and we've been fortunate enough to visit them 3 times since his birth.
• The month of April is host to my birthday, Eli's birthday, and our wedding anniversary. So April's always a good month, just in general.
• In September a good friend died. I didn't hear about it for over 3 months. I hope he's having fun in heaven.
• Around May-June, a friendship was rekindled with a truly great friend that I'd, for the most part, lost contact with for the last few years. I really needed it, and am very thankful.
• In February, Eli and I went sledding on about 1/4 inches of snow. You take what you can get around here.

I'm sure there's more, but this is the stuff that comes to mind. As life goes forward, I'm really just trying to live better, learn more, serve more faithfully, be more grateful, and realize that no matter what kind of crap may come, my life is far far better than I could ever deserve.

the imposter, once, and other tidbits

Yesterday, at McKay's Bookstore, I traded in about 9 cd's and got $26.00 in trade credit. For $24.00 of that credit, I picked David Crowder Bands "Remedy", Kanye West's "Late Registation", and Kevin Max's "Between the Fence and the Universe" and "The Imposter."

For those who don't know (shame on you), Kevin Max is one of the original DC Talk members. Granted, his solo career since dc talk hasn't quite rivaled that of Toby Mac's. But listening to "The Imposter" over the last day has once again confirmed for me that this guy has quite possibly the greatest singing voice I've ever heard. I'd read good things about this album. On Amazon, the album actually has 5-star reviews from all 23 people who reviewed it. But it's actually kind of hard to find, and I'd been looking for it at McKay's for several months now. Yesterday, I got it for $5.95, and it was still in it's original cellophane wrapping. If you're not a dc talk fan (again, shame on you), don't worry. If you can find it, you should give this album a try. It's very poetic, smooth yet edgy, and his vocals are as clear and amazing as ever. And it leaves me hoping - more than ever before - for an eventual dc talk reunion.

Side note...I finally saw the movie "Once" yesterday on dvd. It's gotten great reviews and it's songs have been played during our church's pre-service music pretty much ever since the movie came out. I was very impressed. I actually went to McKay's hoping to find the soundtrack, and ended up with the other stuff instead. The acting was great, the plot was great, the music was incredible, and the ending left me with my hands over my face wishing for more. If you haven't already, check it out.

PS - Kevin Max just released a brand new album entitled "The Blood", and one of the songs features dc talk members Toby McKeehan and Michael Tait. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

family pictures

About 2 weeks ago, we took our first "professional" family pics in over 2 years. Because I've developed a man-crush on this new picture show site I recently stumbled across, I thought I'd share some. And is it obvious that I now weigh about 190 lbs? Pretty sad.

my friend is gone...

Just in the last two days, I found out that a good friend of mine from Kentucky committed suicide in September. We were good friends, although not necessarily really close friends. I'd known him since 1996, when I was serving at a church in Kentucky while still in college.

Over the last 9 years, from the time I moved to Knoxville in 1998, he faithfully called me about once every 3 months, and even drove down to visit a couple of times. He was very much a country-boy, talked with a deep accent, always drove a pickup truck, chewed tobacco, and was an avid Florida State Seminoles fan.

Not really knowing what had happened, I found the online guest book hosted by the funeral home that handled his burial. I emailed a person from the guest book who seemed to have known him well over the last few years.

It seems that he killed himself primarily over a failed relationship with a girl he had dated for only 2-3 months, but simply could not get over. All evidence points to the fact that his suicide was not premeditated, but more of a rash decision as a way to get back at this girl. I'm hesitant to provide all the details, but that definitely seemed to be the case.

I'm just dumbfounded, really. Although I'd only seen him twice in the last 9 years, I'll miss this friend very much. He was always a great guy, encouraging, was very active at his church in Lexington, Ky, outgoing, talkative. I understand there were no signs of mental health issues, no sickness. I just don't get it. And I'm very sorry he's gone. I'll miss you, David.

how i would ring in the new year if i had real cahones...

Yes, he jumped an entire football field on a motorcycle. On New Years Eve.
Ridiculous.

we've had a great year...

Topic #12 - New Year's Resolutions

I love the idea of New Year's Resolutions. A fresh start. A new beginning. A chance to try something new. A motivation to acccomplish something difficult. An opportunity to mold your life in a new and better direction.

I just don't really like coming up with them, writing them down, and then following through.

However, they have become almost as necessary in our society as washing your underwear and engaging in small talk with other humans - things which many men only began doing in the last couple of decades.

So, with the suffocating pressure of society upon me, here are my resolutions:

1. Hike a trail in the Smoky Mountains that I've never hiked before...minimum 2 miles.
2. Throw darts at Spicy's on Emory road at least twice a month
3. Reduce my "soda" consumption to no more than one beverage each day
4. Begin walking/jogging 2 miles at least twice a week
5. Commit to the previous two resolutions, or commit to actually buying a larger size of pants
6. Floss my teeth...um, at least once...each month?
7. Try my best to make the most smart-assed comments on all the blogs I read. As of now, sometimes I only have the 2nd or 3rd most smart-assed comments. And that blows.
8. Stop eating anything by Chef Boyardee. Period. For some reason, about twice a year Spaghetti-O's sound really good to me. Then I eat them. Then I barf.
9. Listen to more worship music and less rap music. This has been a long time struggle.
10. Pray less while laying on my back half asleep in bed...and pray more when I'm fully awake, on my knees, and actually focused on having a conversation with God.

They're not extraordinary, I know. But they're real. And they're attainable. And that's what counts.

Have you made resolutions? Are they real and attainable? Are they important enough to follow through on? Feel free to share them. I've been told it helps to have accountability in these types of things. And if you'll take time to comment, I'll be sure to put forth my best effort in regards to my 7th resolution.

Happy New Year!

Topic #11 - The Prosperity Gospel

Sheerly by chance, I caught most of a Joel Osteen interview on 60 Minutes last night while at a family Christmas gathering. I think it originally aired in October but was aired again.

I want to direct you to the CBS website recapping this interview. It's a 3 page report, and this link will take you straight to page 3. You may or may not want to read the enitre recap. It is pretty interesting. What's more interesting to me are the reader comments. 86 of them at the time I looked a few minutes ago. And mostly mean, seething, evil, sarcastic, cynical comments at that.

I'm not sure if I can think of a human being in my lifetime who has been so loved and so despised by the Christian community. Even among television evangelists. Millions love his "Prosperity Gospel", tens of thousands attend his church, and millions watch it on tv each week. In fact, his church collects roughly $30,000,000.00 each year through the mail from tv viewers - and they don't even solicit money on the television program!

However, many have grown up in the "Turn or Burn Gospel", and believe it to be the correct way salvation is preached. In addition, many others (myself included) are very focused on a more "balanced" Gospel message. Teaching the good with the bad. The love and the rebuke. The rewards and the punishments. And understanding all of it in the light of God as a LOVING God whose ultimate desire is for His people to love Him, honor Him, live peaceful and fruitful lives, and spend eternity with Him.

In our society today, is the Prosperity Gospel necessarily bad? Is it better or worse than the Turn or Burn Gospel? I'd love to know what else happens at Osteen's church. Small groups, classes, Sunday School, specialized ministries. What do their people study in those environments? Do they dig deeper? Do they wrestle with tougher questions? Do they truly believe that by living the right way, God will provide you with a better life and financial stability? I don't really know. And I'm certainly in no position to judge.

I simply hope and pray that if we believe in the saving grace of Christ, that no matter what lens we see it through - prosperity, turn and burn, catholic, methodist, lutheran, king james only, traditional, modern, missional, attractional, etc - we'll all be able to talk about it someday in Heaven together.

Topic #10 - Giving vs Helping

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll eat forever."

Matthew 19:21 - Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

I think a lot about my lack of giving or service or help to those in need (aka - "the poor"). Anytime in my life where I've given or served freely, I've always been blessed and so thankful for the opportunity to help. Yet I do so little. I'm serious...SO little. I'm so concerned with my own life, my own time, my own needs, and my own happiness that I simply block out the needs of others. It's sad.

But I've also been thinking a lot about the difference between "giving" and "helping". It's so easy to give. Take donations to Goodwill. Put in a little extra offering. Support a local charity with a monthly check. Even serving food in a shelter to the homeless. All good things, but all pretty easy and non-invested types of things.

I came across this story recently. I don't know if it's wholly true or not, but I think it probably is. It really brings to light the vast difference between "giving" and "helping" people in need.

It's easy to give someone money....but how do we HELP that person learn better work skills, earn more money and manage it more wisely? It's easy to donate food to a pantry. But how do we connect with families in need of food and HELP them get off their feet and provide for themselves? It's easy to see someone on Sunday at church who is struggling with finances, marriage, their job, sin, or a broken down car and to be nice to them and tell them we're praying for them, but how do we HELP this person work through the situation and come out better on the other side?

Again, as usual, I don't have much in the way of answers. Just a continued struggle. It's just frustrating to see Christians and the church miss the mark so often when it comes to helping those who need it most. We all work more, do more, drive more, commit to more, have a hundred responsibilities a week, and are left with almost no time leftover to truly invest ourselves in the lives of others. We like the concept of serving, but don't understand the application of it.

I'm praying that God might give me clarity and opportunity in this area. I'm tired of being stressed and busy and all about me. Life is not very fruitful or satisfying without serving others in need. And I don't want to be 68 years old and "retired" before I realize it. Please pray about how we all might serve/help others daily. Jesus lived it. He taught it. He commanded it. It's ultimately what our lives on earth are all about once we've been saved.

1 John 3:17-19 (The Message) This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear. My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

Topic #9 - Church Saturation

I've sort of been a long time fan of the "megachurch" - typically defined as a church with 2000 or more attenders in a typical week. There are many who disagree, saying you lose that close knit family feeling, it's too impersonal, you don't know anyone. I've been a part of more than enough churches of 50-150 to say with confidence that I still never knew everyone - at least not by more than name. And, really, what is a megachurch? It's a bunch of smaller groups of people who, when gathered together, make up a really large group of people.

However, this is not really the point of this post.

I'm simply wondering if there are too many churches in our nation, our region, our state, or even our city.

Here's what my searching has uncovered. In the "Bible Belt", it is estimated that there are typically about 15 churches for every 10,000 residents. This would be about 667 persons per church, if EVERY person went to church. But they don't.

Various studies and research show that, on average, about 40-45% of Americans attend church regularly. However, most of these studies also qualify that 40-45% of Americans SAY they attend church regularly. So the true figures may be lower.

But, since we're talking about the Bible Belt, let's offer the benefit of the doubt, and say that 50% of the people actually do attend church. This would mean that there is a church for every 333 people who attend church. So, for the sake of balance, for every church with 50-100 attenders (of which there are many), there would be a church of 500-600. Or, which is more likely, for every 4-5 churches of 50-100, you've got one church of 1200-1500.

Now, are big churches better than small churches? No. Are small ones better than big ones? No. But this over-saturation of churches concerns me. It seems to speak to a greater & deeper division among Christians who, rather than coming together, pooling their gifts and resources, experiencing in the unifying power of large corporate worship, and living in dynamic faith communities, would rather build their own church with their own people who like to do things their own way.

And - at least to me - this just doesn't seem healthy.


PS - Did I mention that most STATES in the Bible Belt each have over 100 different divisions/denominations of churches to choose from throughout the state? That's amazing, but a totally different discussion for another day.

Topic #8 - "The Christmas Season"

Disclaimer...my opinions in this post have nothing to do with the fact that Christmas truly exists to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, of which I am extremely grateful. It deals with Christmas as a "holiday season", celebrated by the masses, many of whom may not have a speck of faith in Christ, but enjoy the holiday nonetheless.

With that in mind, here are the things that I truly ENJOY about "The Christmas Season":

1. The weather. For some reason, in the last 3-4 years, I've grown from hating cold weather to actually really really enjoying it. Weird.
2. Days off. If you include Thanksgiving and New Year's as a part of the entire season, you normally get to enjoy quite a few days off from work. Nice.
3. Rudolph, Charlie Brown Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, and any other classic Christmas cartoons.
4. Christmas services at church. No matter what denomination you are, what church you attend, or what type of services they do, you know at Christmas time you'll be talking about Jesus and singing familiar Christmas worship songs.
5. Eli's anticipation of Santa Clause. How fun is it to be young enough to still believe in Santa? I love hearing him talk about Santa, what Santa's going to bring, seeing Santa at every mall, etc.
6. Christmas lights. I've always enjoyed driving through neighborhoods looking at the wide variety of decorations, lights, yard displays, and more.

Here are the things I truly DO NOT LIKE about "The Christmas Season":

1. Gift buying. I know this sounds harsh. But I'm really tired of buying gifts, getting gifts, expecting to buy gifts for people I don't think I should be buying them for, getting pressured to participate in gift exchanges at work. I think Christmas would be so much nicer if it were more like Thanksgiving...just a time to relax, eat good meals, be with family and friends, and remember Jesus.
2. Sale prices. Some people see the $20.00 pair of shoes that are normally $60.00 and think it's awesome. I see it and often think, "man, they are really ripping people off throughout the rest of the year when they sell those for $60.00." Really, when you see how low stores will mark things down, it almost makes you wonder why we would buy anything the rest of the year?
3. Political correctness. Happy holidays. Enjoy the season. We wish you a happy holiday season. Crap, crap, crap. It's especially disheartening when 90% of the "Christmas" cards don't really say anything about Christmas or Jesus. Which leads me to...
4. Christmas cards. This has been a pet peeve of mine for a looong time. I truly do not like to receive Christmas cards that simply say, "from the ____ family". If you can't take time to write a personal note, include a family picture, or put together a more creative card, please don't send out Christmas cards. Just my opinion. =)
5. Christmas falling on the 25th. The 25th is the day we celebrate Christ's birth. But any research will tell you that Jesus probably wasn't actually born on December 25th. I wish Christmas would always be on a Friday or Monday. That way - like Thanksgiving - you could always have a long weekend off of work and really fully enjoy the holiday. Doesn't it stink when Christmas falls on a Wednesday or a Saturday, and you end up not getting any extra days off?
6. Increased stress. Isn't this the opposite effect Christmas should have on us? Shouldn't we be happier, more reflective, and slow down? Instead we have 7 different gatherings to go to, 20 gifts to buy, increased traffic everywhere we go, and a personal budget crisis. It's just not right.

Well, those are my thoughts. I'd love to hear yours. And I want to wish everyone a very happy and joyful holiday season and may you and family enjoy each other's love and company as you rip off the wrapping paper and think about which things you're going to keep and which you're going to take back for exchange. No really...Merry Christmas. And thank you God for sending Jesus.

yes, i keep changing the way this thing looks...sorry....just trying to make it easier to read, harmony of colors, contrasts, all that good stuff. i promise i won't keep changing it.

again, the randomness of life.

Topic #7 - The Randomness Of Life

I've always been a person to notice the randomness of things in life. I often say things that cause the people around me to say, "that was kind of random." But life IS, in many ways, totally random. And I sort of think it's by God's design. Just think about a few things:

A person who has always been healthy, works out, and eats right can contract cancer....while a person down the street who never exercises and has smoked their whole life can live to be 82.

Some people live in the midwest and have never once seen a tornado....others may live only a couple of counties away and have seen many, and possibly had homes destroyed.

A person can grow up in a wonderful Christian home with awesome God loving parents, and rebel against God and never truly believe...another person can grow up in a terrible environment, have no positive influences, and end up becoming a devout follower of Christ.

You can plant 100 trees in an open field. Some will never grow. Some will grow and die. Some will grow and grow and flourish for decades.

I can buy a fictional Elmore Leonard book at McKay's bookstore for $2.50, take it home to read it, and when I open it, an airplane ticket from Boise to Denver, and a one-day ski lift ticket from Sun Valley, Idaho from 02/25/2007 can fall out of the middle of the book. Oh yes, this is true. It just happened this week. I would absolutely love to know the history is this paperback book. It was copyrighted in 1989, but when was it actually printed? Who bought it first? Where? How many people have owned it and read it? How in the world did it get from either Idaho or Colorado to McKay's bookstore in Knoxville, then into my own home?

I don't know who you are, John Murphy, but I hope you're flight went well, and that you enjoyed the book. I'm only 2 chapters in, but I like it so far.

Topic #6 - Going to the Doctor

I've been sick the last two days. So has Eli. On Monday afternoon, we both went to the doctor. He had thrown up a couple of times but she said just to monitor him and be careful what he eats for a couple of days. I had a horribly sore throat, no strep, and was given an anti-biotic prescription.

I also went to the doctor last Friday. I wasn't sick, but I've had a dry cough now for about 4-6 weeks that hasn't gone away, and am getting tired of it. My wife works for an ear, nose, and throat group, so I was able to visit with no co-pay out of pocket.

The two doctor visits, and a prescription for my cough and one for my sore throat cost a total of $85.00. To be honest, there's hardly ever a time when we can afford a sudden loss of $85.00. So not only have I been sick, but very frustrated as well. Not to mention the doctor on Friday ran a flexible scope up my nose, down my naval passage, and into my chest. Not enjoyable.

I've been to the doctor a total of 3 times this year. Before April, it had been probably almost 3 years since my last doctor visit. I hate going. Not because I don't trust them. But because I hate getting a cold, paying $20.00 to see the doctor, then paying another $20.00-$40.00 for some medicine, only for the cold or flu to take as long to go away as it normally would. I can understand going when you're REALLY sick or injured in a way that you can't possibly care for yourself. But how many people go at the drop of a dime? Everytime they feel something? Everytime they get a cold? Everytime they have nausea? It's been said that this is part of the extremely high cost of healthcare....the fact that people who have free or low cost healthcare grossly overuse it.

Sorry, I guess I'm just venting a little. Feeling mostly better now, both physically and emotionally. Throat still a little sore, and the cough is not gone. I'm very grateful for doctors. It's hard to understand how hard they work to get to where they are. They do incredibly important things daily to help people stay alive and healthy. And although I DO believe that God can heal people even today, I'm not really one who shuns doctors as a way to fortify my faith in the healing power of God.

I just don't like going to see them....could just be that I really hate needles?

Topic #5 - Chuck Norris

I don't know much about Chuck Norris. I'm not sure if I've ever watched any of his movies from beginning to end. "Walker, Texas Ranger" was a pretty boring show. And his workout, product promo tv stuff if terribly lame.

But I freaking LOVE Chuck Norris facts. I laugh everytime I hear them, read them, or make them up in my head.

I especially like this one: "If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever."

Check out a bunch of good ones here.

Topic #4 - Fuel Economy

I've always been a junkie for compact cars. I currently drive a 2002 Mazda Protege LX, which looks very much like the one picture to the left. I bought it new. It now has about 85,000 miles. I've always gotten about 29-30 mpg from it.

I'm now pretty totally enamoured with the Honda Fit. Awesome car. 35 mpg, tons of room, sporty, great standard features, air bags all the way around, and really fun to drive.

In my vehicle history, I've owned a 1987 Ford Escort, a 1994 Mazda Protege, a 1998 Mazda Protege, and a couple of compact pickups for a short time. So, for most of my driving life, I've gotten about 30 mpg....and I really like it.

What's very frustrating is to know that fuel economy is the USA could be much better.

Get this.....in 2007, only TWO cars in the US got an average of at least 40 mpg...the Toyota Prius and the Honda Civic Hybid. In Europe in 2007, 113 cars got at least an average of 40 mpg. That's right. 113 different cars.

In 2007, the average mpg of ALL cars/light trucks on the road in the US ranged from 21-24 mpg. In Europe, 2007, the average mpg of ALL cars/light trucks on the road ranged from 40-43 mpg. That's right...about 70% better than our vehicles. That's ludicrous. Again, Capitalism bites us in the rear end. Not only that, but have you seen many pictures of the compact cars and trucks in Europe? They look way cooler, more stylish, and more sporty than their counterparts here do! And I'm not just talking about the 2 seater Smart cars. The best resource I can find to look at a sampling of different European cars is this page from Wiklipedia listing the Top 3 finishers the last several years in the European Car of the Year voting. Also, the Toyota Yaris has been gaining in popularity in the US over the last year. This car was released in Europe all the way back in 2000. This is a pretty normal trend, actually. Cool cars are released in Europe, gain popularity, then are released in "modified" versions here in the US...modified in the sense that they are rarely as good looking and get worse gas mileage. I truly cringe when I see the vast number of Hummers, Envoys, Expeditions, Suburbans, Sequoias, Armadas, Range Rovers, Durangos, and other gas guzzlers that rove our roads. And I don't think people that drive these vehicles are bad people. It's just that I'm a fuel economy kind of guy. And I hope I'll have the sense and frugality to remain that way.

Topic #3 - Cats

I do not like cats. They sneaky, arrogant, they shed, and even the cutest nicest ones have a little evil streak in them just waiting to be released. I hope that I shall never be forced to own a cat. The purring thing is kinda cool, but it doesn't make up for everything else.

To reiterate....just to provide clarity....I do not like cats.

Topic #2 - Racism

Let me say two things to start. 1) I do not consider myself racist. A person is a person. A bad person is a bad person, regardless of color or culture. A good person is a good person, regardless of color or culture. 2) I do not believe racism will ever be eliminated - or for that matter, really even "reduced" - in our nation in my lifetime. It's an attitude that has simmered and boiled for many decades, and I believe will be invariably impossible to overcome.

I almost think racism needs a new name. When I say the word, I immediately think "whites who are prejudice against blacks, or vice versa." But it's much more than that. Racism involved whites, blacks, hispanics, asians, middle easterners, and anyone else in between. I believe whites can have racist attitudes toward other whites. If a button-uped, upper class white sees a 20 year old in public with baggy pants, a vulgar oversized shirt, and a backwards cap, and thinks "what a punk", does he really care if the 20 year old guy is white or black?

Our nation is polarizing itself in many ways - political affiliation, christians/non christian, rich/poor, city/urban, and definitely by race/culture. We've become intolerant of almost anything or anyone who is not like us, does not believe like we do, or think like we do. It's been reported that more than ever, Democrats are moving to democratic areas and Republicans are moving to republican areas. Most of us in the church have heard the stat that within a few years of becoming a saved Christian, you have basically no more friends who are NOT believers. City people believe rural dwellers are all red-necked, slack jawed, dumb, calloused, ignorant nobodies who drive 20 year old trucks and can't speak right. Country folks think city people are high fallutin', liberal, egotistical, arrogant jerks who will never understand the meaning of a hard day's work nor the enjoyment of a quiet life.

Is this not all, in some way, racism? Hence the reason I think the term needs revisiting. And I realize that in many cases, I'm as guilty as the next person as "judging a book by its cover", and I do not like that I do it. There's so much to be learned from others, regardless of their social status, color, or position in life. I've been friends with blacks and hispanics. I spent several months a few years ago working with a group of Korean men who were unbelievably hard working, kind, humble, frugal, persistant, and often very funny. I've experienced friendship with white people who were a few economic levels above me, and I've had a long time friendship with a guy so country I can barely understand what he's saying when we talk on the phone. (If by some chance he's reading this, I meant that in the most complimentary way!)

The point is, ultimately, people are people. I have no answers or suggestions on this topic. It's just something I think about regularly. Having the mind of Christ involves seeing a person for who they can be, in addition to who they are. His involvement with Samaritans was not much different than if I became poker-playing-buddies with a bunch of drug dealing hoodlems from downtown Knoxville. At least it wouldn't be looked upon much differently. Yet He did it, and I can hardly see myself doing it. Which is just one reason why Jesus is so incredible. In His heart, He never experienced racism. He never judged by color or position. He never avoided someone because of how they looked, walked, dressed, or even smelled. He knew that people were simply people in need of something greater than themselves. He knew that I was someone in need of something bigger than myself. He knew that you were someone in need of something bigger than yourself. God, open our eyes, help us see people the way you did.

Topic #1 - Being a Sinner

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with the fact that I AM a sinner. I don't just commit sins. I am a sinner. And so are you. And if you say you are not, then you've just committed a sin, so there. =)

There's a tremendous conflict of language in the Bible regarding sin. The wages of sin is death. One who lives in sin and does not love his brother cannot know God. Christ died for our sins so they would be wiped away. But if you do sin, ask God for forgiveness and it will be granted. But don't sin, because sin is darkness, and God is light. I understand there are "contexts" to all verses of the Bible, and that it must be read and understood as a whole. But still.

I'd like to think I don't "live in sin", but that's probably a lie....which is a sin. The key here is to understand that SIN is SIN. Bad thoughts, worrying about things you shouldn't worry about, unkind words, lies, untruths, holding an earthly person in too high of esteem (idolatry?), seeing opportunities to help someone in need and consciously ignoring it. These are sin just as much as rage, robbery, and assault are sin. Yes, the consequences differ, but they are sin. And SIN is SIN. It separates us from God. And we spend our whole lives - if we're fortunate enough to believe in Him - bridging that separation. Which is almost futile in a sense, because we will continue to sin, regardless of how hard we try not to.

Which is why Christ's sacrifice - for our sin - is so utterly amazing and unbelievable and really hard to understand deep down inside. No act of goodness can save me. Once I'm saved, no measure of good living can "enhance" my saved-ness in any way. Christ did it all. And I believe it and accept it. And I'm so grateful for it. And yet...I still sin. And although it does matter....somehow, through Christ's death, it doesn't. And I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to comprehend it.

a 5 week topical series

I want to prepare you for what's to come. From now until the end of the year, I'm going to be posting blogs on various topics. Some will be decidedly biblical topics, others may not be, most could go either way. My post title will simply be the topic for that day. Plain and simple.

Then, I'll simply write my thoughts on that topic. I may or may not use biblical references, since I'm not really offering this as a Bible study or platform to preach. I'll write honestly about each topic. Some things could possibly be R-rated. My words may be a little rough on some points, more refined on others.

I'm not really looking for any debate. Not looking "stir things up" in any way. But I'll be totally open to all comments you may have, either about the topics or my thoughts on them. You should know this about me...in most areas of thought or debate, I'm pretty open to all sides of the issues. This is true of my faith as well.

There are very very few things to me which are DECIDEDLY firm (Jesus is God's Son, God created everything, Christ died to save us, etc). On the other hand, most biblical or spirtual topics - especially those which cause so many arguments and divisions (tongues, steps of salvation, worship, gifts of the Spirit, etc) - I have always had a very open mind about. In some respects, I really don't even care. I hope you'll see what I mean by that over the next month.

So, that's the deal. From now to December 31st, all my posts will follow this set up. I hope you'll read, ponder, and share freely as you see fit. If you agree or disagree with things I have to say, that's okay either way. I simply hope you'll join me.

where are you, arrested development?

At this moment, on my Windows Media Player, Arrested Development is singing the song, "Washed Away" from their excellent 1992 album, "3 Years, 5 Months, and 2 Days in the Life Of...". Definitely one of my favorite albums to listen to, ever.

Every time I listen to them, I can't help but wonder, what in the world happened to them? They were big time, had several really awesome songs (Mr. Wendal is an incredible song), and then they disappeared. Poof. Gone. No more music.

They weren't the only music artists I listen(ed) to that made sort of a sudden disappearing act. I know sometimes it's because of outside circumstances, sometimes because of talent, and sometimes because they're just not making money. Regardless, here are a few that I can think of....and these are only people that I actually listened - or still listen - to.

Arrested Development
Fu-Schnikins
Vanilla Ice
Snow
C&C Music Factory
Burlap to Cashmere
Reality Check
Waterdeep (any word on them?)
Young MC
Heavy-D
O-Town (j/k)

Well, those are the ones that come immediately to mind. I'm sure you can think of others that were important to you.

PS - Now I'm listening to Heavy D and the Boyz, "Now That We Found Love". Awesome song. Where are you Heavy, still trying your hand at acting?

christian concept of retirement?

There's a concept I've mentally struggled with for a long time. We talked about it in my small group last week. It's the concept of "retirement" and "investment savings" as a Christian.

Here's my struggle. In the New Testament church, no one really owned anything. All possessions and material needs belonged to everyone and people used stuff as it was needed most. The Bible speaks often about trusting God for provision, not worrying about tomorrow, and giving what you have to those who need it more than you.

Yet we live in a current world - Christians included - in which we earn and save mostly for ourselves...we're taught to put away nest eggs for college savings, retirement, and those "just in case" moments (worrying about tomorrow?) when we'll need the money.

I realize that this practice is really a result of a community shift. If ALL Christians were committed to New Testament possession principles, we could live the way they did. Even if one church body were committed to it, that church could probably live the NT way. But people don't do this. We think it's an awesome concept, but we don't really trust others, ourselves, and maybe even God enough to really believe that it could work and we could still live comfortable lives.

So, do I look at retirement savings (IRA, 401K, mutual funds, savings, etc) as provisions from God - maybe that's God's way of providing for us. Or do I look it as a lack of trust for provision, do I consider it hoarding, and a way to plan on being totally lazy for the last 10-15 years of my life?

Should Christ followers ever truly retire? Or do we simply retire from a worldly job in order to focus our full-time efforts on ministry work? And if we do that, wouldn't that retirement nest egg be wonderfully spent on missions, providing for the poor, helping people get back on their feet, helping new church plants.....yes, it's important to have enough to eat and have a roof over your head and a car to drive, but isn't that really a secondary concern to doing the work of Christ?

Help me out, here. I'm totally on the fence. Sometimes I'll lean hard one way, then hard the other way. I want to be more committed to saving and investing and making sure my son has all he needs down the road....but I also want to commit to live more frugally, to trust more in God's provision, to teach my son that we don't need all the best possessions to be happy and at peace. What are your thoughts? How do you see the Bible teaching us in this area?

old school big wheels...

When I was younger, I used to have a Dukes of Hazzard style big wheel, much like this one:

It was such a blast, man. My buddy had a Knight Rider big wheel. We'd race, spin out, go down hills way too fast, spin the wheels in the rocks, all kinds of stuff. I've always had these unusually nostalgic memories about riding a big wheel. I'm not sure why.

Now, finally, my son is able to ride a big wheel. Erin and I actually bought him one when he was 18 months old, thinking he'd be tall enough to pedal it when he turned 2. Well, another year and half later (what were we thinking?), and he's finally up to speed. And, yes, I realize this is not a "classic" big wheel, but there aren't many of those around any more, so this one had to do.


















It's awesome to watch and remember how much fun I had doing the very same thing over 20 years ago. I hope he'll also get to enjoy a cool Huffy or BMX bike, an Atari, and a whiffle ball bat and some rocks. Just like dad did.

dissed by my sis...

Kaly - my 16 year old sister - just dissed me. On this blog. A couple of weeks ago, I offered this post. It was a challenge to think, if someone said, "That's just (your name) being (your name)" ... what would that entail about you? I offered some thoughts of what it might mean if someone were to say, "That's just Jason being Jason."

Yesterday, my loving sister commented on this. Here were her thoughts....about me.

"He's just congratulated me on a new album, or tried to convince me that i look like avril lavigne"
"He's just given you all the information you could ever want on a topic"
"He's just thrown a frisbee on grandma's roof"
"He's just decided to give brandon (our 19 yr old brother) an n'sync calendar for christmas, or maybe even a cardboard cutout of michael jackson"

hahaha yeahhh...

Ok, I get it. Very funny. Veerryy funny.

Yes, I do weird things sometimes. I did give my brother an n'sync calendar for Christmas once, when he was about 17. It was funny. Kaly laughed, if I remember.

Yes, I do randomly send them postcards with Missouri landscapes and write messages that say things like, "I saw the trees on this postcard, the way they stood there, round and brown and still and perfectly spaced apart, and they reminded me of you. Love, Jason". Is that so odd?

Yes, I did mail Kaly a cutout picture of a model from a Marie Claire catalog (that did look like her - and Avril Lavigne) and congratulated her on her new modeling career, expressed confusion as to why she didn't tell me about it, and wished her good luck. Humorous, right?

Yes, I used to collect barf bags from airplanes, and mail them to people I knew when they were sick with notes inside that said, "thought you could use this...hope you get better."

You can actually mail a barf bag just like it is....as long as you tape up the open end. You can also mail McDonald's french fry boxes...put a note in the open end, fold over the arched top, tape it up, write address on the box, apply a stamp...and it mails just fine. Done this several times.

So, to my wonderful sister, who could actually pass as Avril's little sister...and who is capable of temper fits that rival any hollywood celebrity...and who likes dating boys with car names (Bentley, Tacoma, and 525i to name a few)...and who used to run out to my car excitedly when I used to come home from college to visit...and who is anxious to pursue a career in dermatology, where she is destined to invent a creme that makes freckles disappear, unless applied unevenly, which would then cause them to turn purple...I say "nice dis".

a case of blogger's block

I don't really know what to write about. When I entered the blogosphere, I sort of made a commitment to myself that I would be honest, free my mind, and try my hardest not to go more than 3-4 days without a new post....the exceptions coming when I'm out of town and have no computer access.

But I'm starting to find it more difficult to come up with interesting things to write about. Almost like all my best thoughts and ideas have already spilled out, and there's nothing left, which leaves me feeling much less introspective and insightful than I thought that I was.

Sometimes I'm not sure whether to blog about things going on in my life, or stick more to random thoughts/questions that I have about life, religion, people, the universe, etc. I don't really want this blog to be a "diary", but when I have nothing deeper to offer, it's just easier to talk about going to the bounce house or taking a vacation.

So please hang with me as I attempt to think harder, delve deeper, search my soul, and continue to offer new posts, even if they're not all terribly funny and thought provoking (not that they all were to begin with).

In the meantime, check out this meaningless, but funny, picture:

eli loves greg's music

My friend Greg has just released two new Cd's...."Chasing the Western Sky" and "Thirty Three". You can check them out or buy them here. Me, Erin, and Eli went to see him perform this past Friday night at The V Cafe. He played 12 songs with a full band, it was pretty awesome.

What really blew me away was how enthralled our son Eli was. He watched the entire show. He played percussion on the table he was sitting at, bounced up and down in his chair, and even got up in front of the stage and danced to an entire song. Unfortunately, we didn't have a camera with us. It was so funny.

This morning I was taking Eli to school. We were listening to the "Thirty Three" album in my car. During the very first song, he recognized it was Greg singing. He asked me, "Dad, why is Greg singing in our car?"

Then when the song ended, he asked, "Can we listen to another Greg song?". Then when the second song ended, he asked again, "Can we listen to another Greg song?". Then we made it to school. Thankfully, one of the songs we listened to was entitled, "Four Bucks." I hope Eli listened to it closely and learned an important lesson about inflation and gross overspending.

Thanks, Greg, for your subliminal influences on my son.

off to work...

This Sunday morning at 8:00am, I'll be driving a 16 ft box truck full of apparel and displays about 11 hours to Merritt Island, Florida. Along with two other co-workers, we'll be working 4 straight 11 - 14 hour days at 4 different Sea Ray manufacturing facilities along the Florida coast. We call it a "Plant Sale." It's typically more like a "flea market."

Drive a big bulky truck for 11-12 hours. Check into hotel. Eat. Go to sleep. Get up at 5am. Spend 2 hours unloading a truck and setting up stuff. Run an event sale for 8 hours. Spend 2 hours reloading everything on the truck. Get something to eat. Chill out, go to sleep. Do the same thing the next day. And the next day. And the next day. Then drive about 10 hours back home. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

Anyways, I'll be going dark for a few days. Until next Friday, be good, stay warm, and drink plenty of water.