Sports Jesus

I struggle sometimes with making the Gospel relevant to the day in which we live. I realize I am to strive to live like Christ. But Christ lived in a desert. 2000 years ago. And wore robes. And walked everywhere He went. I would love to have a clear idea of how Jesus would live today, in Knoxville, in the year 2008. For instance, would Jesus...

Watch TV at all?

Be interested in sports? And if He was, would He have a
favorite?

Driver an old beater car, or invest in one that would be more dependable?

Not own a car, just ride a bike?

Have long hair, short hair, or a shaved head?

Be a member of a local church?

Rent or own his place of living?

Live homeless?

Have a beard?

Wear only second hand, used clothing?

Read stuff while at Borders without ever buying or paying for it? (like me)

Own a computer of any kind? Use email?

Have anything to say about animal rights?

Faithfully recycle?

Speak out against denominationalism?

Cast a vote in governmental elections?

I have many more questions, but you probably get my point. It's just so hard for me to wrap my mind around sometimes. Much like understanding why Adam Sandler is still a big box office draw, or why anyone would ever spend $12.00 for a tiny bottle of "salon quality" shampoo. It would be so much easier if God's Word laid things out a little more specifically.....what type of shoes to buy, whether or not Speedo's are ever acceptable to wear, and how many cable or satellite channels it takes to constitute gluttony.

And, last but not least, I wonder if Jesus would have loved school lunch pizza as much as I used to? And would He have washed it down by chugging a small carton of chocolate milk as fast as humanly possible? I'll definitely ask Him that one day.